Magical White Beef Stew

The magic of this recipe is that:

1. There's only, like, five ingredients. Ok, eight if you count the vegetables and the spices seperately. Jeesh, get of my back.

2. Measurements don't really matter. It is very forgiving. You could cheat on it seventeen times, and it would still take you back into its loving folds of whitish gravy.

3. If you do it right, it will literally blow your mind right out of your head. So, you'll want to set out some drop cloths ahead of time.

Ingredients:

A cut of beef (a pot roast works well) cut into 1/2" to 1" chunks

Potatoes, carrots, and onions. As much as you want. DO NOT MEASURE. Measuring will dispel the magic.

Water (duh) to cover

Flour for thickening

Salt and pepper to taste


Directions:

Brown the beef chunks in a pot with a thick bottom that is big enough to fit entire stew. Do not use thin aluminum pots because the stew will burn very easily and your cooking privileges may be revoked. Add all of the vegetables. While approximately keeping track of how many quarts of water used, cover contents of the pot. The number of quarts of water added will let you know how much flour to use, as follows:

• 1/4 cup flour per quart will give a thin, soupy gravy. Lame.
• 1/2 cup flour per quart will give a slightly thicker, more satisfying gravy. I recommend using this amount.
• 3/4 cup flour per quart will give a thick gravy. For lumberjacks only.
• 1 cup flour per quart will give a very thick gravy that you could easily use for paper mache. You could use your stew to make an abnormally large parade head.

Add flour to water while it is still cool. If you wait until the water starts to warm up, it will form dumplings of flour. This is bad. Do not do this. Simmer for a couple of hours, checking every half an hour or so, until the vegetables are done to your liking. Check more often as it gets close. Salt and pepper to taste.

That's it! Easy peasy.